How Counselling Can Help Men Thrive After a Breakup

By Martin Truscott, NCPS Accredited Counsellor and Polyvagal-Informed Practitioner · Three Oaks Therapy · October 2023 (updated November 2026)

Have you ever felt overwhelmed, lost, or alone? Like you're carrying a heavy weight on your shoulders, and you don't know where to turn?

If you have, you're not alone. Millions of people around the world struggle with mental health challenges every day. Reaching out for help and seeking support is a sign of strength.

As an NCPS accredited counsellor, I've seen first-hand the power of counselling to transform lives. I've helped adults from many different backgrounds and walks of life overcome their challenges and achieve their goals.

That's why I have created this blog: to help individuals find the right counsellor, and start their journey to healing and growth.

In this blog, I'll cover several aspects of finding a counsellor, including:

What is counselling?
The different types of counsellors available.
How to choose the right counsellor for you.
What to expect from your first counselling session.
How to find a counsellor in your area.

I hope this blog will prove a valuable resource for people on their journey to find the support they need.

What is Counselling?

Counselling is a talking therapy that can help you address and overcome a wide range of personal and emotional challenges. It can provide you with a safe and supportive space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and to develop new coping mechanisms and strategies for living a more fulfilling life.

A counsellor can help you with:

Understanding and managing your emotions.
Identifying and addressing your needs.
Developing better problem-solving skills.
Improving relationships with others.
Increasing your self-esteem and confidence.
Coping with stress, anxiety, and depression.
Healing from trauma.
Making positive changes in your life.

The different types of counsellors available

There are different types of counselling and counsellors available in the UK, each with its own specialisation and approach. Some of the most common types include:

Psychotherapists
Psychotherapists are highly trained mental health professionals who can help you to address a wide range of personal and emotional challenges, often working in depth and over a longer period. They use a variety of therapeutic approaches, including psychodynamic therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and humanistic therapy.

Psychologists
Psychologists are trained to understand how people think, feel, and behave. They can help you to address a wide range of mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, relationship problems, and trauma.

Psychologists use a variety of therapeutic approaches, including CBT, psychodynamic therapy, and humanistic therapy. They can also carry out psychological assessments to help you understand your strengths and difficulties, and to identify areas where you may need additional support. Titles such as clinical psychologist and counselling psychologist are protected by law in the UK, so anyone using them must be registered with the Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC).

Counsellors
Counsellors are trained to help people with a variety of personal and emotional challenges. They can provide support on a range of issues, including relationships, work, stress, anxiety, and bereavement.

Counsellors draw on different approaches depending on their training, such as person-centred, psychodynamic, CBT-based, integrative or pluralistic ways of working. It's always worth asking a counsellor how they work and what a typical session looks like.

CBT therapists
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a type of talking therapy that focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviours.

CBT helps you to identify and challenge your negative thoughts and replace them with more realistic and helpful ones. This can lead to changes in your feelings and behaviours. CBT is often shorter-term and structured, and is widely used for anxiety and depression.

Art therapists
Art therapists use art and the creative process to help people to express themselves and to work through their emotions. Art therapist is a protected title in the UK, regulated by the HCPC. Art therapists can help you to:

Explore your thoughts and feelings.
Develop new coping mechanisms.
Improve your self-esteem and confidence.
Build relationships with others.
Heal from trauma.

Music therapists
Music therapists use music to help people to express themselves, to communicate, and to process their emotions. Like art therapists, they are regulated by the HCPC. Music therapists can help you to:

Reduce stress and anxiety.
Improve your mood and well-being.
Promote relaxation and self-healing.
Enhance your communication and social skills.
Develop coping mechanisms and strategies.

Other types of counsellors
Counsellors often specialise in working with particular issues or groups of people. Some examples include:

Addiction counsellors
Bereavement counsellors
Career counsellors
Children's counsellors
Couples and family counsellors
Eating disorder counsellors
LGBTQ+ counsellors
Relationship counsellors
Sexual abuse counsellors

At Three Oaks Therapy I work one-to-one with adults aged 18 and over. If you're looking for couples, family or children's counselling, the professional directories below can help you find a specialist.

Choosing the Right Counsellor for You

The best way to choose a counsellor is to consider your individual needs and preferences; some factors to consider include:

The type of counselling you are looking for.
The counsellor's specialisation.
The counsellor's approach.
Your budget.
Your location, or whether you would prefer to meet online.
Whether they are on a register accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).

I suggest that you meet with a few different counsellors before making a decision. This will give you a chance to see who you feel most comfortable with and who you think is the best fit for your needs. Many offer a free initial consultation. If they do not advertise this, then ask – you should not have to pay to find the counsellor that fits you.

What to Expect from Your First Counselling Session

Starting counselling can sometimes feel like a big step. It's normal to feel a mix of emotions, including nervousness, excitement, and hope. It's important to know what to expect from your first session so that you can feel prepared and comfortable.

In the first session a counsellor will:

Get to know you and your background.
Discuss your current concerns and what you hope to achieve from counselling.
Explain their counselling approach, discuss confidentiality and contracting expectations, and answer any questions you have.

It's important that you feel comfortable with your chosen counsellor and that you feel trust. If you're not sure you're a good fit, it's okay to ask to see a different counsellor.

How to Find a Counsellor in Your Area

To search for a local counsellor, you can use the following resources:

Professional associations: Counselling is not regulated by law in the UK, so it's worth choosing someone who belongs to a professional body with a register accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA). Bodies such as the National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society (NCPS), BACP and UKCP all have searchable directories of their members.
Online directories: Directories such as Psychology Today let you search by location, issue and approach, and read counsellors' profiles before getting in touch. Check that anyone you find is also on one of the professional registers above.
NHS Talking Therapies: For common problems such as anxiety and depression, adults can refer themselves online without seeing a GP first (you do need to be registered with one). In Milton Keynes the service is Milton Keynes NHS Talking Therapies. NHS therapy is free, but there is often a waiting list.
Your GP: Your doctor can talk through your options and refer you to more specialist support where needed.
Other free or low-cost options: Some employers offer counselling through an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP), universities and colleges have student support services, and local charities may offer low-cost counselling.

I trust this information is helpful. If you have any questions, please contact me.

If you’re finding it hard to get your footing after a breakup, you don’t have to carry it on your own. Book a free 20-minute chat to see whether counselling could help — in person at Broughton Gate, Milton Keynes, or online anywhere in the UK.

Find out more about counselling for men in Milton Keynes and online.

Email: [email protected]
Enquiry form: threeoakstherapy.co.uk/#contact
Martin Truscott · NCPS Accredited Counsellor · Polyvagal-Informed Practitioner
Broughton Gate, Milton Keynes MK10 · Online sessions across the UK